Tips to Being a Gentleman - #1: Stop Peeing on the Seat

I spend a decent amount of time on this blog writing about sports, music, public relations or pretty much whatever I feel like at the time. That's all well and good, but I don't think that it really goes anything to help people. That's why I have decided to start posting tips to being a gentleman (TTBG).

I'm not doing this because I think I can sit down with the Queen of England and not commit a single act that the royal family would deem "inappropriate." I burp and frequently. I'm more flatulent than a whoopee cushion. I don't swear like a sailor; I more closely resemble a Jesuit priest in that category, which many would argue is worse.

I drink. I yell. I lose my temper. I talk shit about people when they aren't around and when they are.

I'm not exactly a bastion of decorum. Despite all of this, I have learned a thing or two along the way and I think that I should share that knowledge.

Acting like a gentleman at all times is hard in today's world. It is, however, a small step in earning the respect of your coworkers, friends, family and peers. And it is one thing that no person can ever take away from you.

The world has enough bro-ey idiots out there to last everyone a few lifetimes. Guys, let's take it upon ourselves to actually change our ways and make the world a more enjoyable place for the human race.

So, without further rambling, the first TTBG is:

#1 - Stop Peeing on the Goddamn Toilet Seat in the Bathroom

That's right. One of the first ways that you can be a better gentleman is by acting like one to your fellow man.

Ask yourself this: would you ever go to your friend's house or apartment, leave the seat down, piss all over it, not flush the toilet and leave a few stray hairs on the toilet seat? Of course not, because you aren't a savage. Unless you would, in which case, you're a worse human being than I thought.

So why would you ever go to a public restroom and do the same thing? If every guy that used a public bathroom simply took the extra five seconds to lift up the seat when he pees and (note: this step is critical) leave it up when he flushes to prevent water splash as the water goes down the drain, the bathroom would be a much more enjoyable experience.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to clean the toilet seat off like I'm prepping for open-heart surgery every time I need to take a poop. What I'm suggesting isn't going to take up your entire day. And I can assure you that other guys will appreciate it they come to a public toilet and it more closely resembles their own toilet than an outhouse.

Guys need to start paying it forward to their fellow man. So next time you head to the john, stop peeing on it. Stop leaving hairs on the seat. And start treating the bathroom like it is your own. It's a small step that will take you a long ways.

49ers & Texans Fans Embarrass Selves and Franchises

Mob mentality is a remarkably powerful psychological phenomenon. The more formal title to this groupthink and it has best exemplified in such blunders as the Bay of Pigs fiasco and the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Simply put, groupthink is the decision of a group to proceed with a course of action that many deem incorrect, but do not voice it as they strive for conformity.

It doesn't take too much for groupthink to settle in and the real-world examples are abundant. A charismatic coworker in a meeting who may want to push his agenda over the company's greater good may result in his peers agreeing because they fear appearing disloyal or oppositional. Groupthink can take perfectly good people and unknowingly force them to commit terrible acts.

It should come as no surprise then that at an NFL game, where 50,000+ people are united around a common cause (their team) and have massive exposure to alcohol, would become affected by groupthink and make their fan base look utterly classless.

Towards the end of the San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals game, the Cardinals' defensive end, Calais Campbell went down with a neck injury. He had been down for several minutes with what appeared to be a serious injury and team doctors called for a stretcher to take him off the field. In their clear lack of attention to the matter at hand, fans did what they deemed most appropriate when a player has been seriously injured: they decided to do the wave.

I am, admittedly, horribly against the wave ever appearing at sporting events, particularly in the middle of play. If fans want to do it at halftime, during timeouts, in between innings, go for it. But it has no place going on in the middle of the game. And if there is one time when it is definitely not okay, it is when a player is down with a potential neck injury and who has been down for several minutes at this point.

But, not to be outdone, the Houston Texans fans may have actually found a way to top the 49ers. Their quarterback, Matt Schaub, has not had a strong season. He had thrown a pick-six in four consecutive weeks as the Texans struggled out of the gates. Texans fans grew impatient quickly and were calling for TJ Yates to take over the starting job. Down 31-6 in the game, Schaub was sacked and landed awkwardly on his leg, resulting in one truly disgusting slow-motion replay. Texans fans got their wish as Schaub was sidelined.

But they had to take it one step further and really hammer home the "bread and circuses" mentality and cheer when the injury occurred. Honestly, the behavior is so deplorable that it doesn't even deserve condemnation. I don't care if your quarterback is Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell or Blaine Gabbert, you never cheer when a player is hurt whether mildly or seriously.

Both fan bases should be completely embarrassed. Their behavior was absolutely barbaric. People need to show respect for their fellow human being, especially when the worst transgression that these athletes have taken against the fans is a poor performance.

I don't think that every single person that was at both of those games and cheering or doing the wave are bad individuals. If I had to guess, there were a few bad apples that started it and alcohol, not a fear not conforming, helped give it momentum.

At the end of the day, however, the motivating factors don't really matter. The fans still demonstrated a complete lack of etiquette. I was happy to see that Jed York, the 49ers' owner, publicly admonished the fans and I hope that those words do not fall on deaf ears. Because athletes our fellow human beings deserve more respect than that.

Where Is The Connection Between City Sports & The Furlough?

I work across the street from a City Sports in Boston and go there often during the week to pick up an assortment of needs for my workouts. Since I go there once a week or so, I figured that it makes sense to give them my email for when they have any special deals in the store.

I desperately needed a new pair of goggles and planned to stop in the store on my way home from work. Shortly before I packed up my things, I received an email from City Sports that had the following subject line:

"Government Employees: We'll Never Shut Down Great Savings"

At first I simply stared at the subject line blankly. I was sure there had to be a connection there that I was missing other than a shameful attempt to latch onto a timely subject for their own profit.

Sure enough, there wasn't anything more to it than a shallow marketing attempt to encourage consumers to shop at their stores.

"Don't let the government shutdown keep you from the fall fitness apparel and accessories you've been waiting for. From now until the end of the current shutdown enjoy 15% entire in-store purchase."

In public relations, we frequently see journalists talking about bad pitches that they receive, especially in the wake of a timely news topic when PR people try to spin (and I hate associating that word with our profession) a connection between the current event and whatever product their are hocking. So it doesn't come as a surprise to me that marketers would make the same mistake in this instance.

This is just a hunch, but there is nothing that tells me that any government worker that has been furloughed from the shutdown is going to give a damn about 15% off at City Sports to get the "fall fitness apparel and accessories [they've] been waiting for." I imagine that they are slightly more concerned with when they will be able to start working again and can continue providing for their families.

Playing off a current event like this to reach your entire customer base is one thing since not everyone is directly affected by the shutdown. But trying to draw in the one group of people who are suffering the most - the furloughed workers - from this is pathetic.

I strongly hope that they pull the promotion and apologize to those government employees who are not currently working. Because I would bet they would give up the next 10 fall seasonal accessories to be back at work.

An Untamed Colt Lyerla

By now most Oregon Ducks fans have moved on from Colt Lyerla, the once-promising tight end who had started twelve games for the Ducks over the last two years. It shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to see Lyerla leave as he and head coach Mark Helfrich had been battling ever since Helfrich suggested that Lyerla sat out the Tennessee game for reasons other than an illness.

Lyerla had shown flashes of brilliance over the past two years with the Ducks. But he also had far too many dropped passes and missed blocks mixed in there to make him a truly consistent threat.

He also wasn't exactly what you would call a team chemistry guy and had a penchant attracting too many headlines for the wrong reasons.

After not traveling to Colorado with the team this week to play the Buffaloes, Lyerla officially announced that he is leaving Oregon, effective immediately. He indicated that he will not be trying to transfer to another school in the meantime, but plans to make his way to the NFL.

I'm not entirely sure how Lyerla expects to make it there, except maybe as the towel and Gatorade boy on the sideline. There is no doubt that Lyerla is talented and could be playing on Sundays if he got his head on straight.

But the NFL, more so than any of the big four, places a premium on a player's character. Lyerla would certainly get dinged for that, in addition to his relative inexperience at the college level.

Worst of all for Lyerla? This doesn't really hurt the Ducks. Obviously having a focused Lyerla around would benefit the Ducks offense. But he hasn't demonstrated the maturity or consistency at this point for the team to continue planning on him reaching that level any time soon.

Johnny Mundt has demonstrated himself a capable replacement for the time being and the Ducks already have numerous other weapons on offense. Sure the teams they have been playing haven't exactly been the toughest around; but they are still hanging 50 on teams like their lives depend on it.

This is just addition by subtraction. The Ducks lose a guy who was clearly butting heads with the coaching staff and had already proven to be a distraction off the field with his immaturity. Something tells me that the team harmony doesn't change with Lyerla leaving as the Ducks are just focused on winning the day each and every day.

As for Lyerla, well, I wish him the best. I hope that he proves me wrong and grows up and makes it to the NFL. But a wild Colt won't make it far with the attitude that he has now.

Why PR Pros Can't Treat Journalists Like A Punching Bag

Bad public relations professionals make me cringe. I don't consider this to be an easy profession, but there are far too many bad PR pros out there that give the rest of the industry a bad name.

I follow dozens of journalists on Twitter and they will frequently post about bad pitches, off-topic press releases and general pet peeves of theirs when it comes to my profession. There are many more public relations representatives in the world than there are journalists, which puts them in a position of power. They are the gatekeepers to what becomes news and what doesn't. Adhere to their requests or fail to see your company name in the headlines.

At first, I feel my blood boil when I see them bad-mouthing PR pros. Then they post about the pitch/release and why they're frustrated becomes abundantly clear. When a reporter covers health and fitness, don't pitch them on auto news. In my world, pitching a cloud reporter on the topic of hardware is tantamount to a glove slap and a challenge of their honor.

Misguided pitches are one the surefire ways to get ignored by a reporter on future efforts. Journalists are not stupid and can tell when a pitch has good intentions behind it, but may have just found its way into their inbox instead of their colleague's. What they can't stand, and what they shouldn't have to put up with, are pitches that don't even fall into the realm of their coverage scope. Reporters at the top of their industry will receive anywhere from 50-60 pitches a day--and that's probably on the conservative side--so they do not have time to put up with bad PR pros blasting them with an irrelevant press release.

PR people will be quick to pin the blame on their clients. As PR is truly a job in the service industry, we are at the behest of our clients' requests. But any good PR professional knows when to push back and how to set expectations. This prevents you from having to reach out to the Wall Street Journal when you should be contacting the Boston Herald.

We have to stop pounding these reporters with these poorly constructed, off-topic and ill-timed pitches and press releases. They can't cover everything and your best chance of being that nugget is to really tailor and target your pitches to fit their coverage area.

And we need to convince them that we aren't just robots that believe in blasting press releases and other content our clients give us. Only once we have done that can we change the power dynamic between us and preserve the symbiotic relationship that should exist.