Portland fans, we've had a tough time the past couple of years due to injuries. I could take the time to list them, but I think we are all so familiar with each player's injury report we could recite them in our sleep. We do have a tendency to pity ourselves as sports fans so let's just stop wallowing for a moment and take a look at our situation a little more objectively.
The two biggest pieces to our franchise, Brandon Roy and Greg Oden, appear basically done. Barring some kind of miracle, Roy will never again have menisci. Goodbye athleticism, we won't ever see you again. His reluctance to pass the crown of "franchise player" to Aldridge makes this even more complicated. Greg Oden technically still has a chance to return and be a dominant force. But does anyone believe this will happen? I say it is more likely that Boston College wins the national championship in football next year than any kind of Oden dominance.
Okay, so that leaves us with a core of Aldridge, Nic Batum and Wes Matthews. That isn't a bad core at all. But those are the players that you want to be your 2nd, 3rd and 4th best players. The organization would have to surround that group with incredible role players to make it into a contender. The good news? The Blazers do have two or three trade pieces to try and make that happen.
Miller is in the second year of a three year contract, but the last year is a team option. Camby has one year and ten million dollars after this year. Pryzbilla is in the final year of his contract and could be traded to a team looking for cap relief.
There are several glaring issues with these trade pieces though. First, Miller's market is limited, at best. Take a look at the top contenders, none of them need a point guard. There was a lot of talk about the Blazers making another run at Devin Harris earlier in the year. But the problem there is that New Jersey wanted to deal Harris in order to clear more cap space to sign Carmelo to an extension in the event they acquired him from the Nuggets. Carmelo is clearly not going to New Jersey, so the Nets have no reason to trade Harris now. Miller's tank remains full and his durability is impressive, but his trade value is limited at best.
Marcus Camby is an enticing piece, much more so than Andre Miller. An elite defender and rebounder, a reasonable contract and could fill a hole in the middle for several teams. But one has to think that GM's are a little skeptical of his health (notorious for missing games during the regular season) after his recent arthroscopic knee surgery two weeks ago. How many teams want to take a chance on a 36 year old with a lot of miles on those freshly operated knees? And if we trade Camby, we can seriously forget about the rest of this year (not that we have any chance of anything other than a first round sweep by the Spurs or Lakers). But of the three pieces, Camby is the most likely to get traded in my opinion.
Pryzbilla is the final piece of the trade puzzle. Joel's surgery evidently robbed him of his already meager athleticism. His inability to play effectively for more than twenty minutes a game don't exactly bring in phone calls from other GM's. Cap relief would be the largest motivator for a team to trade for Joel, but with a lockout basically guaranteed next year, do teams care that much about clearing cap space right now? That would kill the free agent market for next year and as long as there is a lockout, teams do not have to pay their players. Cap space becomes a secondary priority in this case.
So of these three players, Camby is the most likely to be traded. If the Blazers are lucky, maybe they can package another one of these contracts for an equitable return, but I do not see that happening. And if the Blazers do somehow manage to acquire some good young pieces, how do we know they will be any good for us? The basis of this question is the impending lockout and the collective bargaining agreement discussions taking place between the league and the player's union currently.
Let's say the players and the owners come to an agreement where one of the agreements is a hardcap for the league. This puts the Blazers in an incredibly precarious position. With a max contract in Brandon Roy, a near max deal for Aldridge, a full mid-level exception for Matthews and Batum needing an extension, a great deal of the Blazers' caps space is tied up. So if the Blazers do trade for any young players, is there any guarantee that we will have the cap space to sign them to an extension given how much money we have invested right now in our roster?
The Blazers' future depends heavily on the results of the CBA. Right now our future is bleak, but if the owners win out and the league institutes a hard cap, life will become worse for the Blazers. I personally think the best course of action is to let these three big contracts expire and save the cap space for after the new league adopts the new CBA. There is too much instability in the league right now to take a risk. Stay patient, play it safe for now and hope that with the new CBA, we can build around our new core of three. Doesn't seem too long ago that core included Roy and Oden, does it?
Monday, 31 January 2011
Friday, 28 January 2011
I Thought It Was "Take The Money And Run"
You're fresh out of college and just start a job with a investment firm. You sign the contract and start off making six figures, with the salary increasing each year as you progress. Let's say you have one required year left and your heart just isn't in it anymore. You can either half-ass your job for the last year, cash in on the final paycheck and then leave the company, or you can walk away right then and forfeit your last year of salary. What would you do?
Well Gil Meche had that exact choice and his decision probably shocked a few people. Meche signed a contract with the Kansas City Royals before the 2007 season, 5 years and 55 million dollars. He was entering the final year of the contract this season, worth approximately 12 million dollars. However, Meche was not worth anywhere near the 12 million dollars the team owed him.
Meche's shoulder has needed several operations and its condition has worsened significantly this season. Meche likely would not have made the starting rotation and would require extensive rehabilitation in order to even come out of the bullpen. But in Major League Baseball, contracts are guaranteed by the teams, so if Meche wanted to earn his salary then all he had to do was go through the motions from spring training until the Royals inevitably finished with 100+ losses in September and he could retire with 12 million extra in the bank.
In a surprising turn of events, Meche walked away. Decided that the 12 million wasn't worth it. More importantly, he figured that him as a pitcher wasn't worth the money.
“When I signed my contract, my main goal was to earn it. Once I started to realize I wasn’t earning my money, I felt bad. I was making a crazy amount of money for not even pitching. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I didn’t want to have those feelings again.”
The idea of walking away from Jamba Juice this summer early and giving up a week of salary was difficult for me. How in the world does Meche just wave goodbye to 12 million dollars? I know that he's amassed an exorbitant amount of money for a pitcher of his caliber, but that's hardly a reason to essentially stack the money up in a pile and light it on fire.
The more admirable reason that he retired? He believed that he needed to spend more time with his children, who do not live in Kansas City with him. In a world where athletes are reviled for cheating, illegitimate children and prominent media stories, Gil Meche restores a little faith in athletes' ability to act appropriately. He put his family first and saved his organization millions of dollars for his honesty. It is a rare act from an athlete that deserves recognition from someone, even if it is just me.
Well Gil Meche had that exact choice and his decision probably shocked a few people. Meche signed a contract with the Kansas City Royals before the 2007 season, 5 years and 55 million dollars. He was entering the final year of the contract this season, worth approximately 12 million dollars. However, Meche was not worth anywhere near the 12 million dollars the team owed him.
Meche's shoulder has needed several operations and its condition has worsened significantly this season. Meche likely would not have made the starting rotation and would require extensive rehabilitation in order to even come out of the bullpen. But in Major League Baseball, contracts are guaranteed by the teams, so if Meche wanted to earn his salary then all he had to do was go through the motions from spring training until the Royals inevitably finished with 100+ losses in September and he could retire with 12 million extra in the bank.
In a surprising turn of events, Meche walked away. Decided that the 12 million wasn't worth it. More importantly, he figured that him as a pitcher wasn't worth the money.
“When I signed my contract, my main goal was to earn it. Once I started to realize I wasn’t earning my money, I felt bad. I was making a crazy amount of money for not even pitching. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I didn’t want to have those feelings again.”
The idea of walking away from Jamba Juice this summer early and giving up a week of salary was difficult for me. How in the world does Meche just wave goodbye to 12 million dollars? I know that he's amassed an exorbitant amount of money for a pitcher of his caliber, but that's hardly a reason to essentially stack the money up in a pile and light it on fire.
The more admirable reason that he retired? He believed that he needed to spend more time with his children, who do not live in Kansas City with him. In a world where athletes are reviled for cheating, illegitimate children and prominent media stories, Gil Meche restores a little faith in athletes' ability to act appropriately. He put his family first and saved his organization millions of dollars for his honesty. It is a rare act from an athlete that deserves recognition from someone, even if it is just me.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
UConn Booster Has Had Enough
In case you missed this little gem, UConn's number one football booster, Robert Burton, lost his cool a little bit when he sent this long-winded email cutting all ties with Connecticut football. If you don't feel like taking the time to read the five page letter, let me just sum it up for you: the university slighted Burton when they ignored his opinion on the hiring of new head coach, Paul Pasqualoni, and consequently, Burton was finished with Connecticut.
Look, I'll be the first to admit it: Burton's brash response to a seemingly small infraction is reminiscent to Dan Gilbert's infamous comic sans letter. To me, and most sports fans, this is an overreaction of the worst kind. But couldn't this event have been avoided entirely?
Robert Burton is your number one booster. He has given more than seven million dollars of his own money to the football program. The athletic facility is named after him. He's provided scholarships for athletes and students. He received an honorary PhD from UConn. Now, all he is asking is that he is able to give his opinion on the head coaching search. That is a pretty small request given his commitment to the program.
A simple conference call could have solved all of this. The AD could listen to his opinion, pretend to care about it, tell him they will consider his thoughts, still hire Pasqualoni and they would maintain their top booster. Instead, his calls were ignored and he heard of the hire from other sources before UConn attempted to contact him. What is the point of having a booster like Burton if you ignore not only his opinion on the matter, but his existence as the top booster? UConn's program is not strong as it is; it can hardly afford to lose a man who donates as much money as Burton.
The other part of this that confuses me is this cannot be the first time that Burton voiced displeasure with the program. He has supported UConn over the past decade and I cannot imagine he's never shown any instability like this. UConn showed extreme irresponsibility when they ignored his simple request, whether or not his reaction was justifiable or not.
UConn's program is no more or less impressive than BC. And the reason that I think this story holds significance for smaller programs like ours is that I can only hope that this isn't how we treat our boosters (if we even have any). I'd be furious too if I gave that kind of money and they brushed my voice aside, marking it equivalent to the average fan.
Burton's ultimate decision to cut all ties with UConn may seem brash; one can hardly blame him for being upset, however, when his voice and more importantly, his wallet, were ignored.
Look, I'll be the first to admit it: Burton's brash response to a seemingly small infraction is reminiscent to Dan Gilbert's infamous comic sans letter. To me, and most sports fans, this is an overreaction of the worst kind. But couldn't this event have been avoided entirely?
Robert Burton is your number one booster. He has given more than seven million dollars of his own money to the football program. The athletic facility is named after him. He's provided scholarships for athletes and students. He received an honorary PhD from UConn. Now, all he is asking is that he is able to give his opinion on the head coaching search. That is a pretty small request given his commitment to the program.
A simple conference call could have solved all of this. The AD could listen to his opinion, pretend to care about it, tell him they will consider his thoughts, still hire Pasqualoni and they would maintain their top booster. Instead, his calls were ignored and he heard of the hire from other sources before UConn attempted to contact him. What is the point of having a booster like Burton if you ignore not only his opinion on the matter, but his existence as the top booster? UConn's program is not strong as it is; it can hardly afford to lose a man who donates as much money as Burton.
The other part of this that confuses me is this cannot be the first time that Burton voiced displeasure with the program. He has supported UConn over the past decade and I cannot imagine he's never shown any instability like this. UConn showed extreme irresponsibility when they ignored his simple request, whether or not his reaction was justifiable or not.
UConn's program is no more or less impressive than BC. And the reason that I think this story holds significance for smaller programs like ours is that I can only hope that this isn't how we treat our boosters (if we even have any). I'd be furious too if I gave that kind of money and they brushed my voice aside, marking it equivalent to the average fan.
Burton's ultimate decision to cut all ties with UConn may seem brash; one can hardly blame him for being upset, however, when his voice and more importantly, his wallet, were ignored.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Top 10 Albums of 2010
Alright, plenty of time to let all that music settle in from 2010 and I am going to give you my list of the top ten albums of the year. One of my favorite parts about music is the wide array of opinions that people offer and how one top ten list can be completely different from another. Obviously, there is no objective standard for whether an album is well-crafted or not, so allow me to indulge and list of my favorite albums of the year.
Let's start with the honorable mentions that just quite didn't make the cut:
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
The National - High Violet
Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
The Tallest Man on Earth - The Wild Hunt
The Morning Benders - Big Echo
Local Natives - Gorilla Manner
Vampire Weekend - Contra
Sorry guys, I loved all of these albums and listened to them extensively pretty much all year, but the top ten is a pretty exclusive list.
10. Sleigh Bells - Treats
9. Best Coast - Crazy For You
8. Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz
7. Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring
6. Beach House - Teen Dream
5. Robyn - Body Talk
4. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
3. Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
2. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
1. LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening
Here's the thing, I can't write about music the same way that I do sports so I am forced to just list my top ten. I'm also much better about talking about music in person so if you ever want to ask me how I arrived at my top ten, feel free to do so. Also, drop your thoughts in the comments section and feel free to list your favorite albums as well. I love hearing different opinions and looking into new tunes.
There is no way that I can decide on a favorite song of the year, but I do have a favorite video:
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Let's start with the honorable mentions that just quite didn't make the cut:
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
The National - High Violet
Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
The Tallest Man on Earth - The Wild Hunt
The Morning Benders - Big Echo
Local Natives - Gorilla Manner
Vampire Weekend - Contra
Sorry guys, I loved all of these albums and listened to them extensively pretty much all year, but the top ten is a pretty exclusive list.
10. Sleigh Bells - Treats
9. Best Coast - Crazy For You
8. Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz
7. Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring
6. Beach House - Teen Dream
5. Robyn - Body Talk
4. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
3. Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
2. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
1. LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening
Here's the thing, I can't write about music the same way that I do sports so I am forced to just list my top ten. I'm also much better about talking about music in person so if you ever want to ask me how I arrived at my top ten, feel free to do so. Also, drop your thoughts in the comments section and feel free to list your favorite albums as well. I love hearing different opinions and looking into new tunes.
There is no way that I can decide on a favorite song of the year, but I do have a favorite video:
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Look Past Sports and Look at Character
We see athletes every day whether we notice them or not. In commercials. On shows. Billboards. Advertisements. In person. In games. Athletes, although representing a minuscule portion of the population, appear as frequently to us as the average Joe.
But the average Joe doesn't get the same leeway athletes get. Everyone knows this. Their experience in the real world makes Joe wonder if the athlete's lives are even real. Their lives seem like a dream and sometimes this delusion has terrible consequences.
Part of the issue of being a professional athlete in today's world is that any mistake you make, on the field or off, will be reported almost immediately. No athlete is safe from criticism. But despite the heightened publicity and lack of privacy, excuses for athletes' behavior is far too rampant. And in most cases, the very thing they are criticized for is all too quickly forgotten by media, fans and bystanders alike.
Jezebel, a branch of Gawker Media, posted a fantastic article on exactly this issue that I found incredibly insightful. And it made me realize that I am guilty of precisely the issue they discuss. I often overlook the simply unacceptable behavior of athletes simply because they are athletes, they don't seem like real people to me. When I hear of a woman being raped on the news, I think to myself: "That is absolutely disgusting. I hope that that creep has exactly what is coming to him." When I hear of Ben Roethlisberger facing the accusation of his second rape case, I crack jokes with my friends about what a disgusting human being he is. But as quickly as we do that, we're right back to discussing his merits as a crunch-time quarterback and ability to control games.
We hold athletes in too high esteem. I'm not saying that Big Ben should have been convicted (I know nothing of the case that what was reported); I am just upset with myself that I can have such two contradictory reactions to similar situations. And I don't even give a crap about the Steelers.
The article discusses the need for a change in the justice system to prevent these situations from taking the blame off the athlete and placing it on the victims. But I think differently. I think that the change needs to occur with us, the fans. Athletes can't keep receiving the same free pass that we give them. And until each individual makes the conscious choice to hold athletes more personally accountable for their actions, we'll still be discussing whether we'd rather have a pocket-passer or scrambler leading us down the field at the end of the day.
But the average Joe doesn't get the same leeway athletes get. Everyone knows this. Their experience in the real world makes Joe wonder if the athlete's lives are even real. Their lives seem like a dream and sometimes this delusion has terrible consequences.
Part of the issue of being a professional athlete in today's world is that any mistake you make, on the field or off, will be reported almost immediately. No athlete is safe from criticism. But despite the heightened publicity and lack of privacy, excuses for athletes' behavior is far too rampant. And in most cases, the very thing they are criticized for is all too quickly forgotten by media, fans and bystanders alike.
Jezebel, a branch of Gawker Media, posted a fantastic article on exactly this issue that I found incredibly insightful. And it made me realize that I am guilty of precisely the issue they discuss. I often overlook the simply unacceptable behavior of athletes simply because they are athletes, they don't seem like real people to me. When I hear of a woman being raped on the news, I think to myself: "That is absolutely disgusting. I hope that that creep has exactly what is coming to him." When I hear of Ben Roethlisberger facing the accusation of his second rape case, I crack jokes with my friends about what a disgusting human being he is. But as quickly as we do that, we're right back to discussing his merits as a crunch-time quarterback and ability to control games.
We hold athletes in too high esteem. I'm not saying that Big Ben should have been convicted (I know nothing of the case that what was reported); I am just upset with myself that I can have such two contradictory reactions to similar situations. And I don't even give a crap about the Steelers.
The article discusses the need for a change in the justice system to prevent these situations from taking the blame off the athlete and placing it on the victims. But I think differently. I think that the change needs to occur with us, the fans. Athletes can't keep receiving the same free pass that we give them. And until each individual makes the conscious choice to hold athletes more personally accountable for their actions, we'll still be discussing whether we'd rather have a pocket-passer or scrambler leading us down the field at the end of the day.
Monday, 24 January 2011
NBA First Half Surprises
Let me preface this by saying: IT IS INSANELY COLD OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. I woke up, got dressed and was all ready to walk to class this morning. Then I took one step outside and it was like I was stabbed repeatedly in the chest with an icicle ice pick. Not pleasant. I took the bus instead and had to wait for about ten minutes for it to arrive. That was at 8:35. It is now 10:10 and I am still not warm. -2 and with the wind chill, a teeth-chattering -23 degrees. No, that is not a typo. It is simply a cruel joke that the world decided to play on the Northeast.
The NBA season is halfway done and many of the stories we expected to play out (Cleveland's utter humiliating summer continuing into the season, Minnesota and Sacramento as the bottom dwellers of the West, and the Celtics and the Heat battling for Eastern supremacy) unfolded exactly as anticipated.
But this season has had a couple of wild twists to it so far and these are just a few of the most notable, in my humble opinion:
The San Antonio Spurs - 37-7? The same Spurs that were swept by the Suns in the Western Conference Semis last year and clearly looked to be in their demise? Give credit to Gregg Popovich and a healthy squad for their success this year. Popovich has managed Duncan's minutes effectively, while incorporating in the young players like George Hill, DeJuan Blair, and Gary Neal to make sure the Spurs stay fresh throughout the year. A completely healthy Ginobli and the resurrection of Richard Jefferson's corpse hasn't hurt the Spurs either. The Spurs are the number one threat to the Lakers out West right now and easily the surprise of the season.
Blake Griffin: Enough said.
No, but seriously, people had a pretty good idea that Blake Griffin was a special player. I don't think anyone expected him to come out, post 27 straight double doubles, be second in the league in that category, provide fans with more jaw-dropping moments since Dr. J and take a Clipper team and make them NOT the laughingstock of the league. Not bad for a guy just two months from turning 22. He makes the Clippers, the Clippers, watchable. That just by itself is worthy of an MVP candidacy in my book.
Derek Rose for MVP: Why not? Averaging 25, 8, and 5. Posts and astounding 31.8 percent usage rate and still manages a true shooting percentage of almost 54 percent. And he is doing this while missing Boozer for the majority of the season and Noah who remains out after thumb surgery. Did I mention that he has done all this and led the Bulls to the third best record in the East, just a game back from the Heat? Sounds like a pretty strong case to me.
Evan Turner's Struggles: Maybe the media doesn't talk about this one as much because he plays for an abysmal 76ers team, but Turner hasn't even been serviceable so far this year. This lack of production is coming from a guy that most analysts touted as the most NBA ready player in the 2010 draft. Some even called for the Wizards to draft him ahead of John Wall. And instead, he is losing minutes to Jodie Meeks. I'll give you all a second to remember that he was a second round draft pick in the '09 draft out of Kentucky. Maybe it is Doug Collins' system, or maybe Turner was a little over-hyped, but he has failed to live up the his number two pick status thus far.
Carmelo Anthony: Still a Nugget. I think this has to be the biggest surprise of the year so far. I wrote a post earlier last week about Anthony so I will try to keep this short but if we see Anthony in a Nuggets jersey after the February trading deadline, I will be shocked. Clearly Melo did not want to go to New Jersey, but instead still has his heart set on New York. But the Nuggets front office has held firm in trade talks with the Knicks, claiming that they will not receive enough in return to warrant a trade to New York. But, if they aren't careful, they're going to end up with a Chris Bosh situation on their hands and they will walk away with nothing in the end. This is a situation to keep a close eye on as the trade deadline looms closer.
There, a couple of the stories that I believe are worthy of blogging about from the first half of the season. I still like (or dislike, depending on how you want to look at it) the Lakers coming out of the West and if both the Heat and the Celtics make it to the Eastern Conference Finals healthy, I think we'll have a hell of a battle in that series. I'm making it a toss-up right now for that side. What a cop out, I know.
The NBA season is halfway done and many of the stories we expected to play out (Cleveland's utter humiliating summer continuing into the season, Minnesota and Sacramento as the bottom dwellers of the West, and the Celtics and the Heat battling for Eastern supremacy) unfolded exactly as anticipated.
But this season has had a couple of wild twists to it so far and these are just a few of the most notable, in my humble opinion:
The San Antonio Spurs - 37-7? The same Spurs that were swept by the Suns in the Western Conference Semis last year and clearly looked to be in their demise? Give credit to Gregg Popovich and a healthy squad for their success this year. Popovich has managed Duncan's minutes effectively, while incorporating in the young players like George Hill, DeJuan Blair, and Gary Neal to make sure the Spurs stay fresh throughout the year. A completely healthy Ginobli and the resurrection of Richard Jefferson's corpse hasn't hurt the Spurs either. The Spurs are the number one threat to the Lakers out West right now and easily the surprise of the season.
Blake Griffin: Enough said.
No, but seriously, people had a pretty good idea that Blake Griffin was a special player. I don't think anyone expected him to come out, post 27 straight double doubles, be second in the league in that category, provide fans with more jaw-dropping moments since Dr. J and take a Clipper team and make them NOT the laughingstock of the league. Not bad for a guy just two months from turning 22. He makes the Clippers, the Clippers, watchable. That just by itself is worthy of an MVP candidacy in my book.
Derek Rose for MVP: Why not? Averaging 25, 8, and 5. Posts and astounding 31.8 percent usage rate and still manages a true shooting percentage of almost 54 percent. And he is doing this while missing Boozer for the majority of the season and Noah who remains out after thumb surgery. Did I mention that he has done all this and led the Bulls to the third best record in the East, just a game back from the Heat? Sounds like a pretty strong case to me.
Evan Turner's Struggles: Maybe the media doesn't talk about this one as much because he plays for an abysmal 76ers team, but Turner hasn't even been serviceable so far this year. This lack of production is coming from a guy that most analysts touted as the most NBA ready player in the 2010 draft. Some even called for the Wizards to draft him ahead of John Wall. And instead, he is losing minutes to Jodie Meeks. I'll give you all a second to remember that he was a second round draft pick in the '09 draft out of Kentucky. Maybe it is Doug Collins' system, or maybe Turner was a little over-hyped, but he has failed to live up the his number two pick status thus far.
Carmelo Anthony: Still a Nugget. I think this has to be the biggest surprise of the year so far. I wrote a post earlier last week about Anthony so I will try to keep this short but if we see Anthony in a Nuggets jersey after the February trading deadline, I will be shocked. Clearly Melo did not want to go to New Jersey, but instead still has his heart set on New York. But the Nuggets front office has held firm in trade talks with the Knicks, claiming that they will not receive enough in return to warrant a trade to New York. But, if they aren't careful, they're going to end up with a Chris Bosh situation on their hands and they will walk away with nothing in the end. This is a situation to keep a close eye on as the trade deadline looms closer.
There, a couple of the stories that I believe are worthy of blogging about from the first half of the season. I still like (or dislike, depending on how you want to look at it) the Lakers coming out of the West and if both the Heat and the Celtics make it to the Eastern Conference Finals healthy, I think we'll have a hell of a battle in that series. I'm making it a toss-up right now for that side. What a cop out, I know.
Friday, 21 January 2011
Two Additions to my Shit List
Alright let's start out this post by saying that if Mother Nature were a real person, then she would be the first person on my list to get the axe. When I was in Greece, all the Greeks were telling me how the weather all the way into December was uncommon. I was still wearing sandals and shorts to class the first week of December. We even had a 70 degree day early in December. That I could get used to, in a big way.
Well I guess I blew my weather karma a little prematurely because Boston is kicking my ass right now. Look, I don't have a problem with a little bit of snow. Really, I think it is beautiful to watch fall, creates a feeling of serenity all around, and the pristine white gives the world an image of innocence. That is until I am trying to trudge through the sidewalks that haven't been plowed and I end up with a shoe full of snow. Then snow can burn in hell. And quickly. Because once the snow stops falling, it all goes downhill from there. It mixes in with dirt and turns a disgusting, sad brown. It turns to slush in the salt which just soaks your shoes. The salt cakes on the bottom of your jeans making them look terrible. And when you get hit with two plus feet over the span of a week and a half, snow really sucks. Nothing good about it. So thanks Mother Nature, I'm trudging along, literally, through your bull shit. I better get an awesome summer.
One of my friends one time said that he is glad he didn't go to southern California or somewhere warm like that for school because then you wouldn't appreciate the warm weather. I disagreed then and I vehemently disagree now. After having spent a semester in warm, sunny Athens, I am fairly confident that I could get pretty used to warm weather. Could anything in the world be wrong if it were 70-80 degrees right now? No, and I challenge you to find a reason why it could be bad.
Now, on to my real rant. Wednesday morning, at around 7 AM, the garbage men came to our house to collect the trash. Great, wonderful, because we accumulate a lot of it in a house of 10 guys. Now I wouldn't have known they came if it weren't for the jackass driving the truck who just lays on his horn for a FULL FIVE SECONDS. Okay, I'm thinking, "someone must've been backing out and he almost hit them or something like that." So I get up and peek out the window. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. No cars in the way. No walkers. No dogs. Nothing. Just the guy grabbing the bags and throwing them in the back. Alright dude, thanks for waking me up. And if that weren't bad enough, one I get back in bed, just for shits and giggles as far as I know, he just honks his horn again for another two or three seconds. Cool, dude, cool. While I appreciate you collecting our trash, I could really do without the excessive honking. Thanks.
So who is guilty party number two? Well any guy who takes a pee and doesn't lift the seat and pees on the seat. Honestly, are you kidding me? This has to be a joke. You were potty-trained when you were two or three, have been going to the bathroom for close to 20 years and you can't pee straight and hit the toilet? And you're too dumb to realize that if you raise the seat you have more room to pee into the bowl? And then, as if this first infraction weren't bad enough, you don't even take the time to wipe off the seat for the next person. DAMNIT, THAT IS GROSS. Then the next innocent person who walks in and has to use the power must first clean off your piss because you're too incompetent to pee like a normal person.
If I were in charge of the world, there would be fewer issues like the two that I mentioned. Unfortunately for everyone though, Mother Nature would still be safe to screw with us.
Well I guess I blew my weather karma a little prematurely because Boston is kicking my ass right now. Look, I don't have a problem with a little bit of snow. Really, I think it is beautiful to watch fall, creates a feeling of serenity all around, and the pristine white gives the world an image of innocence. That is until I am trying to trudge through the sidewalks that haven't been plowed and I end up with a shoe full of snow. Then snow can burn in hell. And quickly. Because once the snow stops falling, it all goes downhill from there. It mixes in with dirt and turns a disgusting, sad brown. It turns to slush in the salt which just soaks your shoes. The salt cakes on the bottom of your jeans making them look terrible. And when you get hit with two plus feet over the span of a week and a half, snow really sucks. Nothing good about it. So thanks Mother Nature, I'm trudging along, literally, through your bull shit. I better get an awesome summer.
One of my friends one time said that he is glad he didn't go to southern California or somewhere warm like that for school because then you wouldn't appreciate the warm weather. I disagreed then and I vehemently disagree now. After having spent a semester in warm, sunny Athens, I am fairly confident that I could get pretty used to warm weather. Could anything in the world be wrong if it were 70-80 degrees right now? No, and I challenge you to find a reason why it could be bad.
Now, on to my real rant. Wednesday morning, at around 7 AM, the garbage men came to our house to collect the trash. Great, wonderful, because we accumulate a lot of it in a house of 10 guys. Now I wouldn't have known they came if it weren't for the jackass driving the truck who just lays on his horn for a FULL FIVE SECONDS. Okay, I'm thinking, "someone must've been backing out and he almost hit them or something like that." So I get up and peek out the window. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. No cars in the way. No walkers. No dogs. Nothing. Just the guy grabbing the bags and throwing them in the back. Alright dude, thanks for waking me up. And if that weren't bad enough, one I get back in bed, just for shits and giggles as far as I know, he just honks his horn again for another two or three seconds. Cool, dude, cool. While I appreciate you collecting our trash, I could really do without the excessive honking. Thanks.
So who is guilty party number two? Well any guy who takes a pee and doesn't lift the seat and pees on the seat. Honestly, are you kidding me? This has to be a joke. You were potty-trained when you were two or three, have been going to the bathroom for close to 20 years and you can't pee straight and hit the toilet? And you're too dumb to realize that if you raise the seat you have more room to pee into the bowl? And then, as if this first infraction weren't bad enough, you don't even take the time to wipe off the seat for the next person. DAMNIT, THAT IS GROSS. Then the next innocent person who walks in and has to use the power must first clean off your piss because you're too incompetent to pee like a normal person.
If I were in charge of the world, there would be fewer issues like the two that I mentioned. Unfortunately for everyone though, Mother Nature would still be safe to screw with us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)