Like I Am Going to Let This One Slip By

FIFA announced the winners of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids.  The two clear favorites were England and the US respectively.  Both of these countries make perfect sense.  England already has a plethora of stadiums so they wouldn't have to spend an absurd amount of money building new stadiums that may never be used again (see: Africa, South 2010).  Not to mention, the city and suburbs are connected incredibly well, which ensures that the country would be able to handle the influx of tourists.  For the soccer dunces out there, English people really like soccer too.  As much as any country in the world.  In fact, I'd bet my life that you could even name a former English national team captain (somewhere in India, 30 million Indian children just screamed "Bend it like Beckham!!").  The US appeared to have a firm grip on the 2022 World Cup and considering when they won the 1994 World Cup they sold a record number of tickets, FIFA knows they would make fistfuls of cash if it were held in the US.  Another kicker, and FIFA knows this, the US Soccer Federation is desperately trying, and making ground, to establish soccer as a national sport on the level of the Big 4.  The World Cup would definitely help generate interest and foster further growth in the US.

Russia is cold, barren and not exactly a soccer power.  And their ability to demonstrate fiscal responsibility is...well...not good.  Qatar (millions of Americans just said "huh?") is approximately 1.7 million people and is located, hang on a second I have to look up where exactly...right here.  No, this is not a joke.  I'm telling the truth.  Qatar actually is a real country.

Alright, let me gather my thoughts for just a second.  FIFA, did you just decide to throw a dart and pick the two countries that you hit to host the World Cup?  I guess that makes Qatar the proverbial bulls eye that amateur dart throwers hit one in every 500 throws.

Or was your decision to take the most logical choices, go the polar extremes of those two and then select the opposites?  What makes you think that Russia is going to be a better choice than England?  CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?

Russia is at least semi (and I use the term loosely) defensible.  Qatar?  Well I'll just let you read this little blurb while I wait.  Yep, you read that right. 120 skin-melting, fires of hell, Satanically called-upon degrees.  And you want to pack thousands and thousands of tourists who are certainly not accustomed to that into a country roughly the size of my thumb?  When the first idiotic person dies from heat exhaustion from not drinking water, millions of people much smarter than FIFA officials will simply nod their heads, as if saying "should've seen this one coming FIFA."

But don't worry!  They're going to put in air conditioning systems in the stadiums!  So what happens the other 22 and a half hours that the fans are not watching the games in the luxurious, state-of-the-art air conditioned stadiums?  Oh yeah, they just chill the brisk climate and enjoy the wonderful sites that Qatar has to offer.  Either that or they melt from the heat.

Qatar is going to build stadiums and then when the World Cup is over they are going to take the stadiums apart and give them away to poorer countries in need.  That is because they are about as likely to use them again as I am getting called up to the US senior squad for the 2022 World Cup.

Seriously, what the hell FIFA?  What am I missing?  You have a golden opportunity to reward to hugely important countries in the soccer world, and you give the opportunities to Russia and Qatar.  The only thing Qatar is better than the US at is spelling words with a Q and no U.

But then again, I don't know how we were supposed to compete with that.