Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Paris: The Judge's Breakdown

Okay so for those of you who are living vicariously through me (or reading my blog because I update it on Facebook frequently, which is the more likely reason), I am going to go over the major sites that we hit up in Paris and give a score out of ten to each one.  The reason I am doing this is because I have no desire to study for my Greek midterm on Friday.  In fact, I'd sooner count the rice grains in our pot before doing that.  As you can tell, I'm really motivated.

Without further rambling, here we go:

The Bastille Monument: This was our first stop on the trip.  Disappointment, but I suspect I built it up in my head incorrectly.  I was expecting something that was more public friendly.  It is a big pillar in the middle of a roundabout with no access to it.  Names of important French revolutionaries appear on the pillar in gold writing which probably light up in the sun.  Unfortunately, our day was grayer than Raiders' Stadium.  Therefore, a bland pillar.  Peter is sad.
Verdict: 3 Eiffel Towers

The Garden of Plants: No, I am not going to write as the French name because I think that sound pretentious and show-offy.  That and I am too lazy to go find the book that has the name.  A scenic walk through a very large park revealed some of the natural beauty Paris offers...had we been there three weeks earlier.  Don't get me wrong, it was a peaceful place made doubly nice with the sun (which showed up at this point) gleaming off the dew on the grass (damnit, this is why I like writing about sports better; I sound like a fruit).  But the trees were bare, forcing my imagination to work.  This is my Thanksgiving break, the one time where it is okay for me to not do any work (not like I do any anyway: see beginning of this post).
Verdict: 4.5 Eiffel Towers

Pantheon:  Now we're talking.  Let the record show I could've lied really easily and told the woman at the ticket booth that I was an art student and gotten in for free.  In hindsight, I wish I had.  Five Euros would buy me almost three gyros from down the street.  The tomb of Rousseau? Check. Tomb of Voltaire? Check. Tomb of Marie Curie? Check.  Enormous swinging pendulum which was seemingly useless? Double check.  Gorgeous building that was almost difficult to take in all the intricacies.  A must-see.
Verdict: 7 Eiffel Towers

The Garden of Luxembourg:  Same problem as Garden of Plants.  Only it was a hell of a lot colder three hours later.  Imagination had to work for this one, but still a little more impressive.  Definitely worth seeing in any season other than Winter or the end of Fall.
Verdict: 5 Eiffel Towers

D'Orsay: For the art-lover, this is an absolute must.  I enjoy art but I know as much about art as I do computer programming.  Spent a full two and a half hours here and was never bored at a single point.  I'm not a huge French Impressionist fan, but gorgeous works regardless.  The bathrooms are gross though (really sounded like a girl there).
Verdict: 7 Eiffel Towers

Notre Dame:  Probably the most overrated site that we visited this weekend.  Don't get me wrong, the building is an architectural mind-fuck, but the number of tourists packed into it detracts from the buildings mystique.  Plus, that was no more impressive to me than the cathedrals that I saw in Spain.  Sorry Mike, but this is just another reason for me to hate Notre Dame.
Verdict: 5.5 Eiffel Towers

Saint Chapelle:  From the most overrated to the most underrated.  The five Euro price for students is steep considering the small space the church occupies.  It is pennies considering how breathtakingly gorgeous the stain-glassed windows are on the second floor.  The entire top half of the walls are stain-glassed windows, with each section depicting a book of the Bible.  Over 1,000 scenes spread out over 15 sections.  You know when I'm speechless in a public place, something must be impressive.
Verdict: 8.5 Eiffel Towers

Louvre: Overwhelmingly large.  Houses arguably the greatest collection of art in the world, including the famed Mona Lisa (kinda a let down in person, but again this is coming from someone who knows art like Ellen Degeneres knows the male anatomy).  We spent two and a half hours here and barely scratched the surface of the works there.  If you're an art aficionado, spend the whole day here.  If you're like me, pick the important sites and then dip or you will spend too much time there.
Verdict: 7.5 Eiffel Towers

Eiffel Tower:  In case you are too stupid to realize, the Eiffel Tower is my basis of comparison for these landmarks.  The reason for that is that the Eiffel Tower is the single most impressive attraction in Paris.  Call it cliche, but think if you met a person in a random country and asked them to name world attractions.  What do you want to bet that the Eiffel Tower makes that list 99 times out of 100?  It stands among the elite worldly sites along with the Statue of Liberty, Great Wall of China, and the Colosseum.  When seen in the distance, it doesn't look overly impressive.  With each step closer, the ever-growing Tower dwarfs the city.  Take the stairs to the top to get a good idea of just how tall it is (plus you save a couple of Euros and get a good exercise).  Whether you're a France fan or not, it is hard to imagine disliking the Eiffel Tower.  Truly a unique experience.
Verdict: 10 Eiffel Towers

Arc de Triomphe: This one sneaks up on you.  I have always seen pictures of the Arc and thought that it was a cool design for a monument.  Of course I'll never forget it lit up and the people of Paris surrounding it when France beat Brazil in the '98 World Cup.  But the most impressive thing about the Arc are the intricate carvings that most pictures and videos fail to capture.  And maybe I just suffered from the opposite problem that I did with the Bastille memorial, having low expectations that were vastly exceeded.  But the Arc, lit up at the end of the Champs-Elysees, is an image etched in my memory.
Verdict: 8 Eiffel Towers

So you're probably asking yourself, did Pete really need to write this?  Absolutely not.  And did you need to read the whole thing?  Probably not, or at least I doubt you did.  But Paris was such an outstanding city that I felt the need to give my two cents on some of the significant attractions.

That and I really didn't want to study for my midterm.

Ellie Goulding - Sweet Disposition (Temper Trap cover)

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