Alright let's start out this post by saying that if Mother Nature were a real person, then she would be the first person on my list to get the axe. When I was in Greece, all the Greeks were telling me how the weather all the way into December was uncommon. I was still wearing sandals and shorts to class the first week of December. We even had a 70 degree day early in December. That I could get used to, in a big way.
Well I guess I blew my weather karma a little prematurely because Boston is kicking my ass right now. Look, I don't have a problem with a little bit of snow. Really, I think it is beautiful to watch fall, creates a feeling of serenity all around, and the pristine white gives the world an image of innocence. That is until I am trying to trudge through the sidewalks that haven't been plowed and I end up with a shoe full of snow. Then snow can burn in hell. And quickly. Because once the snow stops falling, it all goes downhill from there. It mixes in with dirt and turns a disgusting, sad brown. It turns to slush in the salt which just soaks your shoes. The salt cakes on the bottom of your jeans making them look terrible. And when you get hit with two plus feet over the span of a week and a half, snow really sucks. Nothing good about it. So thanks Mother Nature, I'm trudging along, literally, through your bull shit. I better get an awesome summer.
One of my friends one time said that he is glad he didn't go to southern California or somewhere warm like that for school because then you wouldn't appreciate the warm weather. I disagreed then and I vehemently disagree now. After having spent a semester in warm, sunny Athens, I am fairly confident that I could get pretty used to warm weather. Could anything in the world be wrong if it were 70-80 degrees right now? No, and I challenge you to find a reason why it could be bad.
Now, on to my real rant. Wednesday morning, at around 7 AM, the garbage men came to our house to collect the trash. Great, wonderful, because we accumulate a lot of it in a house of 10 guys. Now I wouldn't have known they came if it weren't for the jackass driving the truck who just lays on his horn for a FULL FIVE SECONDS. Okay, I'm thinking, "someone must've been backing out and he almost hit them or something like that." So I get up and peek out the window. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. No cars in the way. No walkers. No dogs. Nothing. Just the guy grabbing the bags and throwing them in the back. Alright dude, thanks for waking me up. And if that weren't bad enough, one I get back in bed, just for shits and giggles as far as I know, he just honks his horn again for another two or three seconds. Cool, dude, cool. While I appreciate you collecting our trash, I could really do without the excessive honking. Thanks.
So who is guilty party number two? Well any guy who takes a pee and doesn't lift the seat and pees on the seat. Honestly, are you kidding me? This has to be a joke. You were potty-trained when you were two or three, have been going to the bathroom for close to 20 years and you can't pee straight and hit the toilet? And you're too dumb to realize that if you raise the seat you have more room to pee into the bowl? And then, as if this first infraction weren't bad enough, you don't even take the time to wipe off the seat for the next person. DAMNIT, THAT IS GROSS. Then the next innocent person who walks in and has to use the power must first clean off your piss because you're too incompetent to pee like a normal person.
If I were in charge of the world, there would be fewer issues like the two that I mentioned. Unfortunately for everyone though, Mother Nature would still be safe to screw with us.
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