David Wilson: Listen to your Teammates

When I first read the story about Justin Tuck and several other members of the New York Giants suggested that David Wilson stop doing flips in the endzone after he scores, I had three thoughts in the span of as many seconds:

1. Why the hell am I reading a story about the New York Giants and giving it even a second of thought?
2. It sounds a little to me like they are overreacting.  The dude is excited and he just wants to celebrate.  If I could backflip on command, even without football pads, I would probably start backflipping to work.  Need a drink of water? Backflip to the water cooler. Need to use the bathroom? Backflip over stall door for my privacy. What sensible person wouldn't backflip if they could?
3. On second thought, you, David Wilson, are a professional athlete. You have been gifted an opportunity that so many of us grew up dreaming about (for the record, I still haven't given up on my quest to make the NBA). You make millions of dollars. The most important aspect of your job is to take care of your body.  And doing backflips will certainly not help you accomplish that in the long term.

I turn your attention to Exhibit "A" where you will find some of the dangers of backflipping:

• Cute girl fails on a backflip
• Lots of people try to backflip: all fail
• Man helps another man fail backflip

If you need a heavier does of Schadenfreude, I suggest just looking up in YouTube: backflip fail. 

Now, I understand that suggesting that the people in those videos possess the same level of athleticism as David Wilson is preposterous at best. But that is not what I am trying to do. The point is that accidents can happen. And the last thing that the guy who just set the record for all-purpose yards for the Giants needs to do is tear an ACL because he was celebrating like a hamster stuck in a wheel. 

There are plenty of other celebrations that athletes have coined and does not have the potential for a catastrophic injury: Gronk's spike, the Moss Moon, the Moss Autograph, Joe Horn's Phone Call, and even your teammate Victor Cruz's Salsa.  Celebration every football fan knows and associates with that individual.

He is just a rookie and on top of the world right now after that performance.  He's been one of the biggest surprises of the year and he just wants his time in the spotlight. But I suspect that his teammates will take him aside and tell him that that spotlight gets awfully dark and fast when you injure yourself acting like a jackass. 

And while I would love nothing more than watching a New York fan base suffer, not even I can hope that he hurts himself this way. He has to start using his head a little bit here. This Giants team needs a balanced attack to create opportunities for Eli Manning and Victor Cruz to find each other in the endzone.  Wilson certainly can't help in that endeavor if he is crutching up and down the sidelines. 

But, hey, a backflip on crutches: now THAT would be impressive. 

Bonus: I leave you with this video of a football player who got a tiny bit too excited...and this was over a field goal. I knew the Gramatica brothers were good for something: Bill Gramatica FAIL

Just Sheed Being Sheed?

Rasheed Wallace is probably my least favorite player currently in the NBA.  He is one of my least favorite of all time.  And he is my third least favorite player to ever don a Portland Trail Blazers jersey (with Bonzi Wells and Raymond Felton tying at 1A and 1B, but that is for another day).

When I think of Rasheed, a few notable moments come to mind: his (deservedly so) tirade of rogue NBA referee, Tim Donaghy, following an ejection in his infamous 41 technical season; throwing a towel in Arvydas Sabonis's face which pretty much encapsulates the Jail Blazers era; his infamous declaration that he doesn't care who he plays for as long as they "cut the check"; and finally, three words that are heard on blacktops around the world, "ball don't lie".

Ball don't lie is the perfect example of Sheed being Sheed, as many like to say.  As if the basketball gods were looking down at the game, forced the player who so unjustifiably received a call (likely against Rasheed) to miss his free throw and that suggests that Rasheed was the victim of a bad call.  When that free throw is missed, Rasheed is cleansed of his sins and confirms that he is a martyr.

So when Rasheed was ejected in just one minute and twenty-five seconds on Sunday for his slap to the face of Luis Scola and his "ball don't lie" comment on the subsequent miss, people laughed as expected.  But then something ridiculous happened.  Fans started asking whether Rasheed should have been ejected for his comment.  I mean, he has been saying it for years.  People don't really take him that seriously anymore when he says it.  Like I said, it is said on courts from kids who barely dribble with one hand to adult men's leagues.  It's just Sheed being Sheed.

No, it's not.  And frankly, I applaud the officials for calling the second technical so quickly and putting an end to the mockery.  Just because a player acts like a jackass for his entire career does not mean he gets a free pass for acting like a jackass at the end of it.

NBA TV had a question scroll across the bottom line tonight asking if fans thought that Rasheed's ejection was an overreaction because it was just "Sheed being Sheed."

Overreaction?  Seriously?  Rasheed has overstayed his welcome in the NBA, both with his play and his attitude.  And I will admit, I laughed the first couple of times I heard Sheed say it.  It's such a phenomenally stupid train of logic, one can't help it.  But there was a time and a place, and Sunday was neither.

You don't get a free pass for stupidity in perpetuity.  Now if only somebody could convince him of that.

A Tale of Two Hurts

I would imagine that one of the most difficult tasks for a musical artist to accomplish is to produce a cover that is on par with the original song.  Songs that are generally covered are those that are thought or emotionally evoking, prompting the listener to express the emotion they feel when listening to the music through their interpretation of the song itself.  That is no small task.

By and large, I do not enjoy covers.  I often find that the cover frequently fails to recreate the evocations of the original.  I respect the artists that attempt to do it, but I do not hold high hopes when I see one of my favorite bands cover a song.  The original is a special experience.  The cover is a reminder of why that first experience is special.

Not all covers fall short, however.  The one cover that people almost universally agree is superior to the original is Jimi Hendrix's version of Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower".  Bob Dylan himself agrees, saying: "I liked Jimi Hendrix's record of this and ever since he died I've been doing it that way... Strange how when I sing it, I always feel it's a tribute to him in some kind of way."

"All Along the Watchtower" is so closely associated with Jimi Hendrix now that most people probably do not realize that the original was by Bob Dylan.  And that is the ultimate goal of a cover: supersede the original in the minds of the listeners.

Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" undoubtedly falls under the category of on par or better than the original (depending on who you ask, of course).  But where Jimi Hendrix took the song and simply made it better, Johnny Cash took a different angle to the cover entirely.

In the original NIN song, the entire song is a dramatic production.  It is laden with emotion dripping from every word, seemingly a cry for help.  The final minute of statically ominous white noise is the moment of letting go, where the listener actually hears Trent Reznor give up. He so desperately needs anyone to hear his cries of pain, but he is just lost.  Reznor is at the end of his life, but because he chooses to be.  "Hurt" is his swan song: the moment right before he takes his life.

Coming from Johnny Cash, however, the song is filled with a completely different set of emotions.  Johnny Cash released his cover of "Hurt" in 2002, one year before his death.  The cover is a reflection of the life that he has lived, but not with the sense of desperation that Reznor conveys.  Cash's version isn't about giving up.  It is about an old man who is left to ponder the life experiences that shaped him.  He is coming to the acceptance as his life clock ticks one second closer to his death.  A bittersweet end approaches him as he knows he has done wrongs in his life that he will be unable to right.  The simplicity of Cash's version, the repetitiveness of the piano and the guitar chords, paints the picture of a humble man who has simply accepted that his time has come.

The songs are both "Hurt". The lyrics are unchanged.  But nobody can listen to each version and think that they communicate the same meaning.  That is the beauty of Cash's version as well as Reznor's.  In fact, it is almost difficult to say that one is better than the other because the two men were not trying to communicate similar messages.  This is a comparison to apples and oranges.  But it is a fantastic reminder of the depth and complexity that goes into the music that we hear every day, proving that even an unlikely cover can evoke wildly different emotions.

A Valuable Lesson I'm Still Learning

A while back I wrote a short paragraph about how in college they need to offer a class where they just teach you work skills and how to function in an office.  I cannot emphasize enough how much I still believe that now (shocking that my opinion has not changed in a two week period, right?).

My generation is always told that we are soft.  That we get what we want and don't know how to respond to "no".  We can't handle the rigors of the real world.  It is why so many of us don't have jobs and are forced to move into our parents' home.  We were told "yes" our entire life.  When we hear anything else, we just don't know how to respond.

I think that's a load of shit.  And anyone who truly believes that clearly hasn't spent all that much time with people my age.

Now, but wait, Pete, you're about to contradict yourself pretty badly right here.  I think that there are moments where that is very true.  Very, very true.

We grew up in a generation where everyone got a trophy.  One of my friends said growing up he played in a travel soccer tournament and his team lost every game by at least five goals.  No worries, though, they still got their sportsmanship awards!  Oh, you got a C on that algebra test?  Well at least you tried your hardest!

Many times, we don't handle criticism or failure all that well.  Or for that matter, we don't handle not even being recognized at times.

And that brings me back to my opening paragraph.  Upon entering the workforce, someone should have grabbed me by the shoulder like Lenny would a mouse and sternly inform me: "You will have days where you get the lowest of low projects, you'll be asked to complete them, you won't get thanked, and the most important part of this?  You will just keep your head down and plugging away, because that's what first-year employees do."

Nothing specific happened to me today to make me realize this.  Sure, I do seemingly meaningless tasks all the time at work and I have learned to just go about my merry way when I am finished.  Because you aren't going to get thanked each time.  You aren't going to have someone patting you on the back each time you didn't screw up.  That was the expectation when you were an intern (or when you worked at Jamba Juice in high school like myself).  You just do your damn job and recognize the fact you have a job is more thanks than you really deserve.

I watched a few of my coworkers receive praise for particularly difficult assignments this week.  My first thought was "well, shit, if I had had the opportunity to do that, I could have done just as good of a job."  Well, guess what?  I didn't get to do it because I probably couldn't have.  They had the experience and the knowledge to complete the project efficiently and effectively.  I have been full time at my PR firm for more than three months now.  My colleague has been there for more than two and a half years.  It's downright arrogant for me to think I could exceed her performance.

She earned her praise and the thanks of my boss.  My tasks, nor my experience, have earned that praise.  Only once I exceed the expectations of those above me will those accolades come.

And that is a fact that I have struggled with, and continue to, since I started.  Yeah, I'm used to people telling me how great of a job I do at given tasks, just how Gen X's perceive.  Now, I have to accept that there are others that vastly outperform me and I cannot allow their success or my lack of recognition to stand in my way.

Because the second that I do that, I fall right into the stereotype that generations before us have shackled us in.

Each day is a learning experience in this regard.  I can only hope that I remain so open to accepting the fruits of that labor.

No, Your Meal Is Not Old-Timey, So Stop Taking Pictures Of It

Alright, I am going to step on my soapbox for a few minutes here.  And I realize that most people will not agree with what I have to say and I will likely come off sounding like a pretentious hack whose own self-serving elitism rubs people the wrong way.  But when it comes to this particular topic, I just have to vent.

Instagram, the supposed one billion dollar business, adds nothing to the art of photography.  In fact, I think it actually detracts from the entire idea of capturing an image.  Everyone seems to have fallen in love with Instagram because it serves its purpose well: it takes completely unoriginal photos with seemingly no creativity behind them and turns them mildly interesting.

Here’s the problem: the photos are basically fake.  What you see in an Instagram photo is not reality. 

While this does raise the larger argument of whether or not a photo in and of itself is a snapshot of reality, I would prefer to table that for another day. 

Instagram takes photos and makes them appear vintage, weathered, old-school, or [fill in the adjective here hipsters overuse].  At first glance, the pictures do look kinda cool.  Then I stop and think, “Wait, what makes this look cool is the fact that it DOES look old and weathered.  But it isn’t.  It is a picture of a beer you took ten minutes ago and uploaded with your iPhone.”

I love looking through old photographs.  The golden-brown hue that captures the eye and holds it certainly gives feel to the times when it was taken.  You know what doesn’t do that?  Taking a picture of your dinner, a flower, or the pigeon picking at the trash, adding a filter from Instagram, and then calling it art.  What makes those old photographs impressive and beautiful is exactly that they are old.

Instagram takes the ordinary and makes it look a little more extraordinary.  But, whether we realize this or not, we aren’t impressed with the photo.  We are impressed with the filter that is splashed across the usually otherwise generic photo.

Next time time you take a picture and use Instagram, take a close look at it.  Look at the photo and see if it is worthy of printing off or (I can’t believe I actually have to add this) mobile upload it.  Would anyone even notice it if the walk-on-water photo enhancer didn’t basically alter the entire landscape of the image captured?

Use creativity and capture the best photo you can.  Don’t just settle for something generic and see if Instagram can enhance it.  If a photo is a snapshot of reality, keep it as close to reality as possible.  Your eyes are the lenses to the world and I can certainly guarantee that people do not see the world as an Instagram filter.

**In the effort for full disclosure: Yes, I did download Instagram to my phone.  Yes, I did take one photo with it. Yes, I deleted the photo and the app immediately after when I realized that my photo was shitty without it.  No, I will not use it again.

The Ethics of Giving Blood

On Sunday, I gave two units of blood.  I gave two units of blood because I am O+.  I gave two because I am healthy enough, it won't affect me moving forward and because it saves lives.

On Sunday, my roommate Jordan didn't give two units of blood.  He didn't do it because he doesn't have the right blood type.  Or because he isn't healthy.  Or that he doesn't want to help save lives.

Jordan did not donate blood because he is gay.  And he is not allowed to.

Walking to the blood donation center on Sunday morning, the thoughts about this swirled around my head.  I am completely for equal rights for gays and lesbians.  Ever since living with Jordan, I have only strengthened my convictions that there is no right on Earth that belongs to straights and not gays.  Fortunately, we live in a world that is slowly (emphasis on slowly) becoming more progressive and hopefully those battles won't even be an issue with my children.

I won't eat at Chick-fil-A anymore.  I will buy more Oreos because of this Facebook post.  And I will strongly consider not voting for a candidate based on their stance towards gay rights.  But can I, in good conscious, refuse to donate blood because they won't allow gays to donate blood?

It's a double-edged sword.  I want to continue giving blood, but I don't want to continue tacitly approving the discrimination against the gays.  But I can't stop donating because that puts others at risk.

There is a time and a place to stand for your morals.  This, unfortunately, is not one of those times.  At the end of the day, giving blood to a person who really needs it has to come first.

But, with any luck, sometime in my life, I won't even have to think about it as I walk to the blood donation center.

We Want Kansas State Full Strength

Last night the Ducks racked up more rushing yards in a single game than Washington State has done all year.  Kenjon Barner basically ran halfway to New York and the Heisman Trophy presentation with how far he traveled last night.  Although their defense didn't look pretty in the Duck's 62-51 win over USC, Matt Barkley, Marquis Lee, and Robert Woods will typically do that to you.  At the end of the night, however, the Ducks Won the Day once again.

Pitt and LSU, thanks for nothing.  LSU is a little more acceptable of a lose given that they only had a three point lead throughout the fourth quarter and everyone can basically guarantee that Les Miles will outcoach himself in at least one big game a year.  Pitt, on the other hand, was up 14 points in the fourth quarter and had a chance to win the game in double overtime with a 33 yard field goal.  Saying they blew that game would be like saying Facebook struggled with its IPO.  The only consolation out of this is that this pretty much ensures that Notre Dame will lose one game before the end of this year  They have been too close in too many games to keep having Irish Luck looking down on them.

Here's my feelings on Kansas State: they are the ones that the Ducks have the most to worry about.  Frankly, I just don't think that the Big12 is really that good.  They have a test left with Oklahoma and they will have to get by the Big12 championship as well.  But the way that they have been running over, through, and around teams thus far, I don't have high hopes for a KSU loss.

That is, unless, their field general Colin Klein, who left last night with a hand injury, suffered anything more than minor injury.  Klein is the danger of that offense, a mini-Tebow if you are so inclined.  He has the option on basically every play to pull it in and take off down the field.  He is the primary guy who runs over and through opponents, punishing linebackers and safeties with his size and strength.  He isn't the strongest passer in the world, but when defenses have to put seven in the box to keep him contained, even I could complete some of the passes he throws.  And my spiral is more wobbly than a broken top.

But as I said above, Klein left the game last night with an undisclosed hand injury.  And let me tell you how I feel about that: I don't want it to be a serious injury.  I want KSU to be full strength and play it out.  If the Ducks are #3 in the BCS poll that is released later today, then I want them to finish the season #2 and not have any astricks by it.  A major injury to Klein and a subsequent drop in the polls by KSU would put a gigantic, fluorescent astricks by that #2 for the Ducks.  Even if they did win the championship over Alabama (who by the way, last night proved they are not unbeatable), there would still always be that "what if Klein..." lingering over the 2012 season.

Auburn fans in 2004 still complain about their lack of an opportunity to prove they were the best team that season.  Hell, Utah's attorney general only just now dropped his lawsuit against the BCS that stems from Utah's failure to play for a national championship during the Urban Meyer days.  I don't want those kinds of questions and hypotheticals to exist if the Ducks make it to the national championship.  If the Ducks win, I want it to be straight up.

Unless Notre Dame is that undefeated team left on the outside.  Then I will just laugh and laugh and laugh.

First Dates, Who Pays?

I got into a fairly interesting discussion with my coworkers today.  Let me preface this by saying that I work in an office of 16 people.  13 are women.  And of those 13, 11 are under the age of 27.  So there isn't any generational issues or perspectives that would result in this conversation.

One woman in my office went on a date last night.  She wasn't overly enthused about going out with the guy, but she agreed to drinks which eventually became dinner when he asked.  Overall, she enjoyed the date.  The guy was nice enough, they had enough to talk about and it wasn't ever awkward.

Then the check came.

She offered to split the check with him.  He, I would argue in a not-so-surprising manner, complied with her suggestion.  Well, this took her back quite a bit and she said that it turned the night sour for her.  I countered that if she did not want to pay, she should not have offered.  This set off a firestorm of responses from the office.  Needless to say, there was very little support of my postion.

Nearly everyone argued that she was simply being polite by offering to pay and that any time that happens, the guy should always reject and pay the bill.  Again, in the interest of full disclosure, I would always reject a girls offer in that case.  But it does not surprise me that he took her up on it.

Times are changing.  Dates do not mean what they once did.  For people our age, going on dates with several people over the course of a month is not uncommon.  A first date is really just a test run, a chance to see how interested you are in that person.  I don't think a first date necessarily means there is interest in the other person.  I believe it means you are interested in getting to know the person.  Those are two inherently different circumstances.  That definitely changes the "rules" of the game.

Now, in this particular interest, she was fairly certain he was interested in her, not getting to know her.  If that is the case, then the onus, if unprovoked, is on him to pay for the meal.  But if you offer to pay, you are not entitled to be upset if he accepts.  Nearly every woman in the office said that they only do it to be polite, that it should never, under almost any circumstances, be accepted.  Let me speak from a guy's perspective: if you don't want to be asked to split, don't offer.  It is that simple.  If women are going out on a date with the expectation of the guy to pay, leave the situation be.  Don't even bother to asking to split.

And this all ties back to my original point here: circumstances of dating are different today.  If people are going on more dates, both men and women, that starts to become a little expensive.  It can't come as a surprise then if a guy takes you up on splitting the check.  And if you, ladies, are going on dates frequently, perhaps you should recognize that a date isn't what it used to be.  This is a "I want to get to know you," not "I am interested in you."  If you don't understand the difference between those two, then I don't know what to tell you.

That's a lot of talking, Pete, so what is your point?  If you don't want to pay, or expect him to pay, then just don't offer.  The expectation is already implicitly there, but the second you offer to split, that expectation disappears.  And you forfeit your right to be upset about it.

Topical What I'm Listening To: Bob Dylan - Times They Are a-Changin

NBA Random Thoughts: 10/31

Holy crap.  Let me just say that watching the NBA last night was incredible.  We're talking, "Don't talk to me and if you're louder than the TV, I'll spike the remote off your face" kinds of excited.  And, yeah, it's only been two nights of games, but I already have some thoughts I need to share.

James Harden Looked Good. Let's Not Anoint Him Yet
Only a few days after the Thunder shipped him off because of a failure to renegotiate his contract, and on the day that he signed a five year, $80 million max extension with the Houston Rockets, James Harden went OFF last night.  36 points, 12 assists, 6 rebounds, 4 steals and a block in a victory of the Pistons.

Two things stand out about this to me.  First, with the complexity of NBA offenses, he was able to pull off a night like this with only a few days of practicing with his new teammates.  You know when you walk into a game of pick-up with a few guys you are familiar with, but don't play with on a consistent basis?  It is MISERABLE.  Guys don't cut when you expect them to, they throw up shots that make you cringe, and they hedge picks when they should switch.  Everyone and everything is different.  Harden shrugged it off, switched into beast mode and owned the floor.  He officially closed the book on the Yao Ming/Tracy McGrady era and gives Houston, along with Jeremy Lin and a host of other young guys, a little hope for the future.

The second thing isn't quite as positive.  Sample sizes, folks, samples sizes.  Yes, Harden played an outstanding game.  But that's not plural.  Game.  James Harden is definitely one of the best shooting guards in the league, but let's wait more than one game to coronate him a franchise saver.  Because frankly I think he is the second best player on a championship team when he is playing at his absolute peak.  Houston fans have a reason to be excited, absolutely, but I hate to see the media react this way each time it happens.

Two More Examples of Sample Sizes
The Lakers started the season 0-2 and looked bad while doing it.  And while this makes me giddier than a kid on Christmas, we all know that this won't last.  Kobe, Nash, Howard and Gasol are too good to continue to have these struggles.  Mike Brown will do his damn hardest to coach them out of games, but a few weeks from now we will look back on the sudden panic from the media and shake our heads as alley-oops come crashing in on them from every direction by Howard and Nash.  The 06-07 Dallas Mavericks won 67 games, after they started 0-4 (and yes, we will overlook the fact that they were the first #1 seed to lose in the first round of a seven game series that year too).  The Lakers have lost 100% of their games so far, but they've only played 2.4% of the season so far.  So let's take our fingers off the panic button please.

One of those teams that beat the Lakers was my own Portland Trail Blazers.  And the Blazers beating the Lakers is like THIS kid on Christmas.  It was an all-around team effort, but it's hard to overlook the individual play of Damien Lillard.  The kid came out and ran the court like a general despite never having seen an NBA game before.  After one game, he and Anthony Davis are the front-runners for Rookie of the Year.

Here's the thing: I would still bet a large chunk of money, barring injury of course, that Anthony Davis wins in a landslide.  He's the better player already and will affect the game hugely on both ends of the court.  That and he doesn't play point guard.  Rookie point guards not named Chris Paul typically don't fair well in the NBA.  Sure there are guys who have played well in recent memory (Brandon Jennings, Derrick Rose, Kyrie Irving), but even they took their lumps hard their rookie year.  Running an NBA offense compared to a college offense is like giving the keys to a Lambo to a 22 year old after he's been cruising around in a Chevy Malibu.  Same basic principal of driving, but wildly different dimensions and capabilities.  Lillard is coming back down to Earth, probably as soon as the next game.  But I'm okay with that, because through those failures he'll learn to be a better point guard and hopefully add stability to a position that has haunted the Blazers in year's past.

What I am listening to: Fineshrine - Purity Ring

Halloween: Kids, Please Take One

Alright, I am fully aware just how curmudgeony I am about to sound.  And undoubtedly, this is EXACTLY the same type of things that my parents were saying about me when I was growing up/.  But handing out candy last night to kids left me with only question:

What the hell is wrong with kids today?

I know that this is the same tired drum that is beat with each passing generation.  My grandparents had the audacity to show their ankles and go dancing at diners.  My parents generation rebelled, protested Vietnam and smoked like weed repopulated at the rate of kudzu.  My generation?  Coddled, unambitious, and eternally sucking at the teet that nurtured us.  There's always going to be something wrong with the generation that follows and precedes us.

But last night I got a taste of the generation behind me.  Let me preface this by saying that there were kids who took Halloween seriously, said please, thank you, and trick-or-treat.  Plenty of parents joked around with my friends and me as we sat on the stoop and passed out candy to the neighborhood.

As for everyone else: why are you so miserably insufferable? That's what I want to know.  I will spare you each detailed story and, rather, I will lay down ground rules for Halloween next year:

1. If you are not in a costume, you don't get candy.  And, no, putting on a Scream mask does not count as a costume.  Unless you are under the age of 5.
2. If you're over the age of 14, you don't get candy.  No exceptions.  Go talk to girls. Go shoulder tap someone for beer.  Don't go walking around for candy that would cost you $3 at a CVS, save you two hours worth of time, and keep you from looking like immature degenerates that everyone hates.
3. If you are found violating both rules #1 and #2, I reserve the right to egg you.  You should also be condemned to eat raisins as candy for the rest of your life.
4. If parents are considerate enough to say thank you, kids over the age of 5 are capable of it too.  Please and thank you.  Or I pull the basket of candy away from you.
5. Unless you are told otherwise, take one piece of candy.  Want to know why our country is so damn fat? Greedy little kids who grab seven pieces of candy, hop in the car that their lazy parents are driving them around in and head to the next house.  And that's the most exercise they get for the year.  Fewer pieces, fewer pounds!
6. If there isn't the type of candy you want, you are not allowed to turn around, not take one, and then complain to your mom about how there's only bad candy.  Ungrateful runts.

There, those are six rules that everyone must follow next Halloween.  And if the rules are broken, I'm keeping the candy.  Unless it's Almond Joys, because those absolutely suck.  Rule breakers get Almond Joys.

Kids are the worst.

**Note: I am fully aware that someone out there (probably every house in my neighborhood) would have categorized me as a little brat who broke several of these rules.  I acknowledge that.  I just don't care.

I'm Coming Home

Okay, not really, but I am going to try and start blogging again.  Even as I type out these first couple of sentences, I am overrun with topics that I would want to talk about.

For instance, ever since I became a real person, I find it a heck of a lot harder to do things in free time such as write.  I get back from the office and I just want to sit down, turn on the television and just zone out.  Nobody told me how exhausting it would be to sit at a desk all day.  Seriously, though, why does that happen?  Note to colleges: teach a class about working in an office and what adverse effects it has on your life. Significantly more beneficial than History of the Atlantic Worlds.

I read a lot at work.  Significantly more than I did over the last four years that's for sure.  And I recently bought two books on Amazon because I thought they might teach me a thing or two about my profession.  Two months later, the spines of books ares stiffer than a whiskey on the rocks and are coated with more dust than my grandma's attic.  Why?  Because I don't want to keep reading when I get home from work.

Senior year of college is at most 7-10 hours of class a week.  For underachievers who only take four classes and have no job (yours truly), you have plenty of time to indulge in activities such as reading, writing and beginning your weekends on Thursday at 11 am.  No wonder I used to write so much more.

That being said, as you can probably tell, I am pretty rusty at the whole blogging thing.  But I know that I have to start doing it again.  Not because I know it will make me a better writer.  And certainly not because I think people actually care what I have to say.  But simply because this is my soapbox, and I will not let it go to waste.

Because where else can you find an aggressive, opinionated, sports and music obsessed burgeoning young professional?  I am not sure either.  But if you find him, let me know so I can copy what he is doing.

In the meantime, I will leave you with the wise words of Manny Rameriez (first time that has ever been written).

Ibaka Calls Out LeBron. His Mistake

“LeBron is not a good defender.”

That is quite the insight there, Serge Ibaka.  But we are talking about the same LeBron James, right?

The same one that matches up with the opposing teams best player night in and out.  The same who has a PER against of 10.6.  The same who has made 4 All-NBA Defensive First Teams.

I guess he is talking about the same one.  If that is the case, I would love for him to enlighten me on this belief.  Granted, he is the best weak-side shot blocker in the league due to his Stretch Armstrong arms so he does get some leeway when he talks about defense.

But to call LeBron a bad defender is just plain stupid.  His physicality, athleticism, and quick hands make him one of the best defenders in the league.  Don’t forget that his 6’ 9”, 260 pound frame allows him to guard four positions easily.

To me, this is just a sound clip that he hopes gets back to LeBron to get in his head.  But why would he go after the one area where LeBron has total control of his performance?

My dad always taught me that when you can’t score or play well on offense, you could always play good defense and rebound.  It won’t matter what is happening on the defensive end, because you control how much effort you put forth.

It would have made more sense for Ibaka to continue on the LeBron isn’t clutch motif, or that he whines about every call.  But instead he went with the one area where LeBron can, and will, give 100% every night.

Don’t be surprised if we see LeBron grab 12-15 rebounds and rack up a couple of steals and blocks after hearing about this.

And one thing that Ibaka seemed to forget: his team is down 2-1 with two more games to go in Miami.  Maybe the smartest thing to do wasn’t give LeBron great motivation when the Heat could have played complacent tonight due to that lead .  Don’t count on it now. 

Why I No Longer Hate The Heat

The Decision.  The championship-like celebration they threw announcing Bosh and Lebron’s arrival.  The endless and nauseating coverage from ESPN.  Lebron’s reminder that we will all, in fact, wake up to worse lives than him every day after the Heat lost in the finals.

Chris Bosh appeared in Entourage for God’s sake.

Man, the Heat sure gave us a lot of reasons to hate them.  And I can safely say I indulged in all of the opportunities I had to rip on Lebron, Wade, Bosh, and pretty much the entire Heat organization.

But here is the thing: I just don’t care about hating the Heat anymore.  I am by no means rooting for them; but I am over rooting against them.

Let’s examine some of the reasons why people hate the Heat and why these things just don’t bother me anymore.

The Decision

Over it.  Lebron certainly showed an incredible lack of judgment, yes, but what NBA player hasn’t?  At this point he has more than made up for that display of immaturity.  He is definitely more focused, clear-headed, and committed to playing basketball rather than being the center of the universe.

The Media’s Coverage

I am supposed to hate the Heat because ESPN doesn’t have even a modicum of decent journalism left in them?  It isn’t the Heat’s fault that Sportscenter dedicates seemingly 99% of its time to them.   Bad sports coverage is to blame, not the Heat.

They Whine and Complain About Every Call

Who the hell doesn’t in the NBA?  The only reason the public sees it more is because the Heat have more nationally televised games than other teams, which is what happens when you are one of the best teams in the league.  Every team has a player that bitches and moans the way the Heat do. Celtics: Pierce and Rondo. Thunder: Westbrook.  Spurs: Duncan and Parker.  Lakers: Kobe.  Stars get to have their way with the refs, get over it.

They Haven’t Won a Title

People love to hate the Heat because of their lack of success.  This seems a bit like backwards logic to me.  How can you hate a team that hasn’t had any lasting success?  That is what made Jordan and the Bulls so easy to hate.  They were dominant and made you feel like your team stood no chance.  The Heat are competitive, but you don’t fear them like you did the Bulls or Lakers dynasty.  Damned if they do win, damned if they don’t.  Hardly seems fair.

People have become so blinded by their own hatred of the Heat that they lost track of why they did at all.  The Heat are hardly villains at this point.

The Heat are flawed which actually makes them that much more interesting.  People hated them because they figured Bosh, Wade and Lebron would roll through teams to consecutive championships.  But that hasn’t been the case yet.  If anything, that makes me more intrigued and inclined to watch.  They aren’t a juggernaut.  They’re just a good team with a chance to win their first championship, just like the Thunder.

Call me crazy, but that hardly seems like a good reason to hate a team.